Who are we? What do we wish to get in our life?What do we have that we fear to lose?
...Heavy duty questions indeed.
I don't know the answers either. But even in this sea of "known faces" i do ponder around for a while... how many of these "faces" i really "know"?How many of these "faces know" me, understand me?Well maybe this could be my answer to the third question.I fear losing somebody."Losing to someone" is not necessarily a big deal for me.I fear losing the people i love.For this time at least, i am not talking about my beloved immediate family.That's something more than permanent- usually taken for granted- I'll speak about it some other time.
We all know that we have not confined our existence to our family alone.We have framed our own little picture of our self-made family; the family of our friends.We at times feel more comfortable in the very presence of our friends than we ever can with anyone else.
I too, am no different. I also feel like heaven in the presence of "my family of friend(s)". Its just inexpressible for sure.
But what i wish to highlight is the uncertainty factor in our life... losing them. I have heard lots about the "ends" of relations, about "drifting" away of those bonds which were seemingly unbreakable, "loosening" up of ties which seemed to withstand all odds.
Is it life which controls our relations or is it something else? Do we miss something while all this "begins to end"? Why do we surrender ourselves to the situations which we face? Why should we accept these "drifts" as if it were a verdict from a judge?Who is the judge here?
Drifting away slowly by the passage of time is a sad tale in itself.We can't blame anyone else for losing our friend.After all its our friend, in my case i would say : he or she is My friend and i am proud of it.Now if i was proud of my friend at some point, i don't think i would sit hand in hand while my life piles upon newer duties on me thereby "cutting short of the time" i have.I don't think that i would be consoling myself that "o, my friend might be busy too, just like me.Further he/she is not caring to see me, why should I?".It does sound obvious, but you cant say that it does not sound silly.
Then we say that time has played its trick and my friend has changed.We say that change is a necessity and we must welcome it.Fine, but why do we blame that "my friend is not what he/she used to be like earlier"?I really feel bad when i hear that two friends stop being "friendly" because of something-be it misunderstanding, revealed truths, clashes,feuds...
One thing that we humans are great in doing is not to accept things- even i don't accept many things.Maybe you wont accept what all i am saying now.We all stubbornly follow some viewpoints. Some are stubborn to follow their own views, some are stubborn enough to always get influenced by others' views.Whatever be the case- one thing is very much true... and that is, we rarely admit our mistakes.And as a result of this, we rarely accept anyone else's mistakes.
This is something which i feel is worth giving a thought.
Why do we think we are so perfect?
We know deep within that we are not.And apart from our parents, our friends have always been the ones to whom we have lied down our bare soul.(Well, at least i did, to the people i considered as my friends.)Our friends are the ones to whom we never shy away while expressing our sickest imperfections. And i feel, the error lies here. We feel that in the process of our confessions we feel that we are being the ones to whom our friend is also pouring out his/her heart out. No doubt we owe it to our friends; to tell them every thing that ever bugs us.But as human beings one thing which we have been always doing is being a human... committing mistakes, being cautious about it and tending to hide it.Its certainly not unacceptable.Its something which comes more natural to us- to be able to survive in a safer and less riskier way- its in our instinct.Well, i am not highlighting on our primeval behaviours.I wish to say that this trait of our tendency to hide something comes very naturally to us.Again,i am not saying that we should be hiding anything from our friend(s).
At times we feel that "he/ she is not caring a bit , so why should i give a damn?".Now my dear, when two people become friends i don't think they sign a contract about giving only those things to each other which they receive. If you see your friend is distancing him/herself, you must reduce the rifts by trying to come closer to your friend.At some point at least, you must have felt that your friend is very precious.You need not think that your friend has changed. For your friend might have the impression that you too have changed.Its just that you need to lose your self-centredness, your ego; when it comes to nurturing your relations.Its about maintaining a balance.If one of you is not watering the sapling of your friendship, it will just wither away silently without a trace.You may not notice it, but you are depriving your garden of life from being made more beautiful by allowing the bud to die.You must hurry to keep this plant alive,in time you will see that your friend will arrive with a pale of water.Its just that you must never lose hope, you must never give up on your friend.You must continue to do your part, continue to trust.
What i wish to say is, inspite of all odds the basic thing which we tend to overlook is to "love". It is love which gives us courage to forgive our friend's mistakes (which seemingly for us is like backstabbing, cheating... and you can put your own versions of treachery if you wish).It is love which motivates us to accept our faults and own it up to our friends.And i know that it is love which keeps all relations intact.These relations are the most delicate string which ties souls together and simultaneously the strongest shield which protects us from shattering to bits in times of some God-forbade calamities.
The only sorrowful thing is that if , one is dumb enough to just wallow away his/her life thinking that he/she is all self-reliant and never needs anyone.You see, needing anyone makes business sort of thing in a relation and that is not meant to last forever.
When we know the importance of somebody, we cant afford to lose them, can we? In our journey of life,our friends are like our holy guardian angels who tread alongside and give us constant support.Their existence is all that we can wish for.We surely do not know where we will go...our paths could diverge.But that can not stop us from pausing and recollecting all those wonderful days we had together and hoping that our ways should meet at some point...
Surely, to err is human and to forgive is divine... but genuine forgiveness must come with letting go of the ill memories of the errors committed.
Now, just think of your friend, you think has hurt you, a friend who has been hurt by you... tell "sorry" if you have to, and don't wait for your friend to tell you sorry... just go and give him/her a well deserved hug.
Its all about letting go of all conditions attached, and accepting our friend as he/she is, and not expecting anything in return; but never holding back to give something.Its not at all difficult.
...Heavy duty questions indeed.
I don't know the answers either. But even in this sea of "known faces" i do ponder around for a while... how many of these "faces" i really "know"?How many of these "faces know" me, understand me?Well maybe this could be my answer to the third question.I fear losing somebody."Losing to someone" is not necessarily a big deal for me.I fear losing the people i love.For this time at least, i am not talking about my beloved immediate family.That's something more than permanent- usually taken for granted- I'll speak about it some other time.
We all know that we have not confined our existence to our family alone.We have framed our own little picture of our self-made family; the family of our friends.We at times feel more comfortable in the very presence of our friends than we ever can with anyone else.
I too, am no different. I also feel like heaven in the presence of "my family of friend(s)". Its just inexpressible for sure.
But what i wish to highlight is the uncertainty factor in our life... losing them. I have heard lots about the "ends" of relations, about "drifting" away of those bonds which were seemingly unbreakable, "loosening" up of ties which seemed to withstand all odds.
Is it life which controls our relations or is it something else? Do we miss something while all this "begins to end"? Why do we surrender ourselves to the situations which we face? Why should we accept these "drifts" as if it were a verdict from a judge?Who is the judge here?
Drifting away slowly by the passage of time is a sad tale in itself.We can't blame anyone else for losing our friend.After all its our friend, in my case i would say : he or she is My friend and i am proud of it.Now if i was proud of my friend at some point, i don't think i would sit hand in hand while my life piles upon newer duties on me thereby "cutting short of the time" i have.I don't think that i would be consoling myself that "o, my friend might be busy too, just like me.Further he/she is not caring to see me, why should I?".It does sound obvious, but you cant say that it does not sound silly.
Then we say that time has played its trick and my friend has changed.We say that change is a necessity and we must welcome it.Fine, but why do we blame that "my friend is not what he/she used to be like earlier"?I really feel bad when i hear that two friends stop being "friendly" because of something-be it misunderstanding, revealed truths, clashes,feuds...
One thing that we humans are great in doing is not to accept things- even i don't accept many things.Maybe you wont accept what all i am saying now.We all stubbornly follow some viewpoints. Some are stubborn to follow their own views, some are stubborn enough to always get influenced by others' views.Whatever be the case- one thing is very much true... and that is, we rarely admit our mistakes.And as a result of this, we rarely accept anyone else's mistakes.
This is something which i feel is worth giving a thought.
Why do we think we are so perfect?
We know deep within that we are not.And apart from our parents, our friends have always been the ones to whom we have lied down our bare soul.(Well, at least i did, to the people i considered as my friends.)Our friends are the ones to whom we never shy away while expressing our sickest imperfections. And i feel, the error lies here. We feel that in the process of our confessions we feel that we are being the ones to whom our friend is also pouring out his/her heart out. No doubt we owe it to our friends; to tell them every thing that ever bugs us.But as human beings one thing which we have been always doing is being a human... committing mistakes, being cautious about it and tending to hide it.Its certainly not unacceptable.Its something which comes more natural to us- to be able to survive in a safer and less riskier way- its in our instinct.Well, i am not highlighting on our primeval behaviours.I wish to say that this trait of our tendency to hide something comes very naturally to us.Again,i am not saying that we should be hiding anything from our friend(s).
At times we feel that "he/ she is not caring a bit , so why should i give a damn?".Now my dear, when two people become friends i don't think they sign a contract about giving only those things to each other which they receive. If you see your friend is distancing him/herself, you must reduce the rifts by trying to come closer to your friend.At some point at least, you must have felt that your friend is very precious.You need not think that your friend has changed. For your friend might have the impression that you too have changed.Its just that you need to lose your self-centredness, your ego; when it comes to nurturing your relations.Its about maintaining a balance.If one of you is not watering the sapling of your friendship, it will just wither away silently without a trace.You may not notice it, but you are depriving your garden of life from being made more beautiful by allowing the bud to die.You must hurry to keep this plant alive,in time you will see that your friend will arrive with a pale of water.Its just that you must never lose hope, you must never give up on your friend.You must continue to do your part, continue to trust.
What i wish to say is, inspite of all odds the basic thing which we tend to overlook is to "love". It is love which gives us courage to forgive our friend's mistakes (which seemingly for us is like backstabbing, cheating... and you can put your own versions of treachery if you wish).It is love which motivates us to accept our faults and own it up to our friends.And i know that it is love which keeps all relations intact.These relations are the most delicate string which ties souls together and simultaneously the strongest shield which protects us from shattering to bits in times of some God-forbade calamities.
The only sorrowful thing is that if , one is dumb enough to just wallow away his/her life thinking that he/she is all self-reliant and never needs anyone.You see, needing anyone makes business sort of thing in a relation and that is not meant to last forever.
When we know the importance of somebody, we cant afford to lose them, can we? In our journey of life,our friends are like our holy guardian angels who tread alongside and give us constant support.Their existence is all that we can wish for.We surely do not know where we will go...our paths could diverge.But that can not stop us from pausing and recollecting all those wonderful days we had together and hoping that our ways should meet at some point...
Surely, to err is human and to forgive is divine... but genuine forgiveness must come with letting go of the ill memories of the errors committed.
Now, just think of your friend, you think has hurt you, a friend who has been hurt by you... tell "sorry" if you have to, and don't wait for your friend to tell you sorry... just go and give him/her a well deserved hug.
Its all about letting go of all conditions attached, and accepting our friend as he/she is, and not expecting anything in return; but never holding back to give something.Its not at all difficult.
Its all about maintaining the divinity of the connections of lives meant to be bonded to our lives...forever...
9 comments:
The blogger has very aptly delineated his emotions thru this blog... In a very perspicuous way the blog describes human connections n love for dear ones... keep blogging n reveal the consummate writer in you..:)
Hey a beautiful post, very well-written indeed...
One thing that I feel you missed in your post is the "mutual" factor in every relationship. You may keep on watering your sapling, but your patience may run out one day, if you see no water being given from the other side.
And as for change, its a truth that everybody changes. But then most people don't feel the "need" to compromise in order to maintain their friendship. Some do, some don't.
very well put 4 a story..indeed...but life dosn't go as a story....its not that smooth..n it dosn't give you what you wnt n whn u wnt it...in return using the time u have in th best possible way will mk people call u smart..what is urs vll definiteli cm bk to u..........bt onli if u deserve it..so it goes 2 way..keep blogging..
Well said i would think except u might be already knowing this-- I dont quite agree. Everyone deserves a second chance and there are those few lucky individuals who deserve a third or a fourth chance maybe.
Now, if we continue like this, who decides when its time to say "Enough"?
Or is it that we should never say enough and keep on trying to adjust and putting up with all sorts of non-sense.
I dont quite see the incentive to keep trying to make everything seem rosy when its not..
And neither should you..
wont disagree to ur comments.but i feel a friendship is like dat old wooden bridge.u n ur friend stand at opposite ends pretty much assured dat da bridge is der for u to reach out to da other but sometimes we dont realise wen the bridge wears out and i guess den we just hav to take a diff route wid a stronger bridge...
pretty wel analysed amit...but try movin onto another bridge for a smoother life...
What an article for self-introspection!
One statement that I disagree with is that you can't always "go and give him/her a well deserved hug", especially when he/she has done something that falls outside the purview of friendship. But yes, we should try to keep relationships (friendships) alive and strong forvever by being as tolerant as possible and making sacrifices from our own side if needed, but only upto a limit.
gud work..!!...genius indeed...keep writing such beautiful articles...!!
its a very nice post...most of the guys experience many situations u hv mentioned..so it is a part and parcel of life...and we need to introspect and make sure we dnt lose the jewels called 'friends'.
my friend...always remember - the world as we see is a cosmic delusion, say a delectable play..and we, the players. Serve your fellow men with love and compassion, dont expect anything in return. Attachment brings sorrow. Its like the strings attached to a kite...which when cut makes the kite soar high up in the sky.
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